Now this, I just don’t get

I don’t usually read Page 6, but I found this link on one of my favorite blogs, that I actually do read.  Apparently, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are bumping uglies – in every sense of the word, because I don’t believe there’s a good looking part between the two.

Could someone please explain how this works, and better yet, why it works?  Because, for the life of me, I can’t understand why this would ever happen.  This monstrosity falls squarely on the shoulders of Lance Armstrong.  I mean, he’s Lance Fucking Armstrong, Lance, “I beat cancer, and with one testicle won seven Tour de France-s in a row” Armstrong, he has his own cancer cure money raising armband for fuck’s sake.  And now, he’s busy getting dirty with an [anorexic] crack whore.

Really, how does this conversation go?  “Hey, I loved you in Full House, I was finishing up high school at the time.”  And then, they go into the bedroom, and he gives her the five digit finger blast?  What is going on here.  Surely she’s dirty in the bedroom, seeing as how she’s dirty everywhere else.  Maybe the other sister gets involved, I don’t know.  And maybe with one testicle, Lance just doesn’t care anymore.

Whatever the case is, why is he doing this?  He needs a younger girl?  Okay, it can’t be that difficult for a millionaire and world renown name to go out and get some 21 year old to take home with him.  Sure, she may or may not have an STD, but the same can be said about either of the Olsen twins.

If I had my choice of what Full House girl to sleep with, Olsen-squared wouldn’t be at the top of my list.  It would go: Jodi Sweetin, Candace Cameron Bure, Andrea Barber, and then my hand.  I would not touch those disease carrying whores with a 10 foot pole.

Who knew that out of all of them, Andrea Barber would have the most normal life? I heard Jodi Sweetin had a meth addiction, and well, we all know about the Olsen twins.  I guess nothing horrible has come out about Candace Cameron Bure, so kudos, maybe she has the most normal life.